The Need for Balance

Balance is defined as "an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady." 

We've all had those days; when dragging our bodies out of bed feels like swimming through quicksand. When we begin the day with a frown and a grumble. When we have been unsuccessful at balancing our lives and find ourselves more apt to stumble on the stairs or stub toes on the way to the bathroom. Days when our thoughts are muddled; when we can't seem to keep anything organized, and productivity falls into the negative. 

As a parent, I have learned to read the signs of my own imbalance, when my needs cry out for recognition. My shoulders hunch, and I feel cracks in my psyche lengthen with each question or complaint. The fear of shattering is so prominent that I must fight the urge to pull at my hair and scream like a madwoman (although that would get their attention). I must resist the urge to run out of the house and hitch a ride on a passing ferry to some unknown island. (In this scenario I always meet a random, awesome stranger headed to an island where I find myself blissfully on a warm beach, eating dried fish and drinking fresh coconut.) When sharing a 12 hour boat ride off this island with a complete stranger sounds like my best option, that is when I know I need a break. 

In situations that make up the majority of our lives, parenting, relationships, work, friendships, we can't often put ourselves first. That would be selfish and unproductive, right?

But we can't forget ourselves either. We need to remember how to bring into our lives those things that sustain us, beyond the confines of necessities like oxygen, food, and water. We are more than houseplants.

We need to walk on the beach, sometimes without kids in tow who walk at a snail's pace and want to examine every broken shell along the way. We should go out dancing, even if our repertoire of dance moves has not been updated since the early 2000s.  Perhaps take a yoga class and quietly giggle at all the people stumbling in and out of tree pose, or sing karaoke with friends who rival the roosters at dawn. Find a quiet corner in the library or spot on the seawall or at a coffee shop away from the latte counter and flavored syrups to read a book you enjoy (and by book, I mean an actual one with pages and not just a screen – trust me, it's a different experience).

Whatever it is that gets your passion flowing again, helps you take a deep breath, and reminds you of who you are, make time for that. You can't work all the time and not feel the strain of exhaustion. You can't parent non-stop without wanting to meet your child's tantrum with your own. You can't be a healthy partner or spouse to someone if you don't take time to step back and remember who you are without them. 

Without balance in your life, you are a lot more likely to stumble (though, to be honest, the overly-worked voice in my head suggests that stumbling on a beach on a un-inhabited island would perhaps be more enjoyable than on the dirty floors of my kitchen).